Monday, February 11, 2008
YOUR MOM....!!
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best lay in town." Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him and the drunk wanders off and stands at the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points to the same guy, and says, "I just screwed your mom, and it was swe-e-et!" Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk wanders off. Ten minutes later he comes back and announces, "Your mom even let me..." Finally the guy interrupts: "Go home, Dad - you're drunk!" :drinking:
A BUS ACCIDENT
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate.
A few days later, the local sheriff came out looking for the missing politicos, saw the crashed bus, and asked the farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The farmer said, "I buried 'em all... out back."
The sheriff then asked, "Were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
A few days later, the local sheriff came out looking for the missing politicos, saw the crashed bus, and asked the farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The farmer said, "I buried 'em all... out back."
The sheriff then asked, "Were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
WHAT'S POLITICS ?
Boy: Dad, what's politics?
Dad: Let me set an example with our family. I have all the money so we'll call me the management.
Mom receives most of it so we'll call her the government. We'll call the maid the working class, you are the people, and your baby brother is the future. Do you understand now son?
Boy: I still don't understand dad.
Dad: Think about it for a while son.
That night the boy wakes up because his baby brother is crying. He goes in and finds out he have soiled his diapers. He goes to tell his mom but she's asleep he goes in to the maids room but she's in there having sex with his dad. He bangs on the door but no one can hear him.
The next day...
Son: Dad I understand politics now.
Dad: Good, explain it to me in your own word son.
Son: The management is screwing the working class while the governments fast asleep. The people are being ignored and the future is full of SHIT!!!!!
Dad: Let me set an example with our family. I have all the money so we'll call me the management.
Mom receives most of it so we'll call her the government. We'll call the maid the working class, you are the people, and your baby brother is the future. Do you understand now son?
Boy: I still don't understand dad.
Dad: Think about it for a while son.
That night the boy wakes up because his baby brother is crying. He goes in and finds out he have soiled his diapers. He goes to tell his mom but she's asleep he goes in to the maids room but she's in there having sex with his dad. He bangs on the door but no one can hear him.
The next day...
Son: Dad I understand politics now.
Dad: Good, explain it to me in your own word son.
Son: The management is screwing the working class while the governments fast asleep. The people are being ignored and the future is full of SHIT!!!!!
Judgment Of God
Three women died and were brought before God for judgment. God said, "I will let you into paradise if the beliefs you lived were proper. Tell me what you believed when you were alive."
The 1st woman said, "I have always believed in the Grandfathers and Generations, and that is how I lived my life." "Fine," said God. "You may enter paradise and sit on my left."
"What did you believe?" he asked to the 2nd woman "I have always believed in Goodness, and I have tried to live my life in a good way." "Fine! You may also enter paradise and sit on my right."
Then he turned to the third woman. "And what do you believe?" The woman said, "I believe you're sitting in my chair!"
Sunday, February 10, 2008
SMART LAWERS
Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of cofee. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.
Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!'
The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.
Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!'
The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.
HOMEWORK
Riju: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Riju: Thank you, because I didn't do my homework.
Teacher: no, of course not.
Riju: Thank you, because I didn't do my homework.
Birthday Gift
Boy: I want to present you a DIAMOND RING on your birthday.
Girl: OooHHH DARLING! But I was expecting a NEW CAR from you......
Boy: I also want that but YOU CAN WEAR A FAKE DIAMOND RING
BUT CAN'T RIDE A FAKE CAR !!!!
(Please Smile)
Girl: OooHHH DARLING! But I was expecting a NEW CAR from you......
Boy: I also want that but YOU CAN WEAR A FAKE DIAMOND RING
BUT CAN'T RIDE A FAKE CAR !!!!
(Please Smile)
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Girl to her Boyfriend (A TRUE LOVE)
"I want to share every thing with you. Your JOYS, Your SADNESS, Your HAPPY MOMENTS, Every single second of day"......
"Let us start with your ATM & CREDIT CARD PASSWORD FIRST".
"Let us start with your ATM & CREDIT CARD PASSWORD FIRST".
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