Q: How do you measure a surd's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear!
Q: Why do surds wear their hair up?
A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.
Q: HOW DO YOU KEEP A SURD BUSY ALL DAY?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.
Q: A surd going to London on a plane, how can you steal his window seat?
A: Tell him the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN A SURD THROWS A PIN AT YOU?
A: Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
Q: How do you make a surd laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
Q: What is the surd doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why did the surd stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
Q: Why do surds work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
Q: What did the surd do when he noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?
A: He turned it over and used the other side.
Q: Why did god give surds 2% more brains than horses?
A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.
Q: How does a surd measure his/her IQ?
A: With a tire gauge! (da da dum)
Q: How do you make a surd laugh on Monday mornings ?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night !
Q: How do you confuse a surd?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: How do you keep a surd in suspense?
A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)
Q: How do you keep a surd busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: Why can't surds make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: How did the surd try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.
Q: What's the difference between a surd and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: Why do men like surd jokes??
A: Because they can understand them.
Q: Why do surds wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
Q: How many surds does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: "What's a lightbulb?"
A2: One. Heholds the bulb and the world revolves around hin.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
Q: What does a surd say when you ask his if his blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
Q: What do you get when you offer a surd a penny for his thoughts?
Q: What do you call 10 surds standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What do you call a surd in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
Q: What do you call a surd with half a brain?
Q: What do you call a surd in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.
Q: What do you call a smart surd?
A1: A golden retriever.
A2: An indicator of a really bad hangover.
Q: What do you see when you look into a surd's eyes?
A: The back of his head.
Q: What do you do when a surd throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: What do a bowling ball and a surd have in common?
A1: Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.
A2: You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter and they'll always come back.
Q: What does a surd and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: What is surd's cheer?
A: " I'm surd, I'm surd, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well..
I'm surd, I'm surd, yea yea yea..."
Q: Why are surds hurt by peoples words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Q: Why can't surds put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Q: When is it legal to shoot a surd in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
Q: Whats the difference between a Surd and a Supermarket Trolley.
A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
Q: What was the surd psychic's greatest achievment?
A: An IN-body experience!
Q: Why is the surd's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
A: It swells at night.
Q: A surd ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A surd parade.
Q: GUY ASKED HIS SURD WIFE"HOW DID YOU GET THE CAR IN THE LIVING ROOM"?
A: She said "I drove it through the kitchen and took a left."
Q: SOMEONE ASKED IF A SURD BELEIVED IN SMOKING.
A: He said "Yes, I've seen it done."